The Eternal Neophyte

I love being a Neophyte.

Simply because I have the opportunity to look blankly at people and then encouraging them and others around me to expound their knowledge and display their skills and experience, which is, and will always be, a whole lot deeper and experiential than I possess right now.

Not because I think I am a bad occultist or enjoy putting myself down, but because I am truly blessed to be in an Order that consists of individuals who have spent a considerable part of their lives not only as Golden Dawn people, but generally engaged in Magic and Occult studies. None of them have really sat me down and 'explained' how awesome they are to me. I didn't receive a dossier on each member with their qualifications, lineages and "power levels". There is no required reading list of their books or publications. I have had to talk to other members of the Order and infer from conversations the depth and breadth of their skill and experience. I have had to be in rituals, have deep experiences and magical experiences to try to understand their skills and expertise. I actually am really intimidated by some of the members of my Order, as well as their associates and other work they do. For example; one of my co-members is a 30 year plus leader of their community, one is an internationally recognised authority on the Golden Dawn and yet another is an internationally derided pagan troll!

They are nothing but generous with their time and thoughts, the things I have brought to the table will hopefully help their practice and build our Golden Dawn Order up and promote it's stability and longevity.

I have approximately 16 years of occult experience (not sure how much I have really, this is a guess and discounts everything up till the age of 21, teen angst and all that. From 21, I was more systematic). As an occultist I started with reading and exploring religious thought outside my Catholic upbringing, working with Saints and eventually entering into Freemasonry and finally initiation into occult orders. I have been a Freemason for over 14 years and I am now in the sad position of seeing many of my amazing mentors and Brothers passing to the Grand Lodge above. While they may not have been interested in Esoteric Freemasonry as far as I knew (they may have been, but were probably more discrete than I) but they gave me a firm foundation on which to build my magical practice.

Brotherly Love, Relief and Truth; Faith, Hope and Charity; Beauty, Strength and Wisdom.

What is this dry bone?

I had a wonderful conversation with my wife the other day while we were driving on a family holiday to the beautiful Southern Coast here in Western Australia. The long distances between towns really allows for in depth conversations and exploration of concepts.

This conversation was primarily about what the heck I have been up to with the Magical Order I have joined. My wife is fairly open minded about things and while I am subjected to oaths of secrecy around some of the stuff we do, I was able to describe the general goals of the Order, what is Initiation (that was a long conversation!) and what I have been getting out of it.

Coming out of this discussion was the question on whether I preferred doing Golden Dawn things, or Freemasonry... I answered without hesitation and quite passionately that the GD work was by far the most fulfilling and important to me and my interest in Freemasonry has declined significantly since I have started being a GD person. "Why" was the next question... I have come up with the following:

• While Freemasonry has given me a symbolic language that I have internalised and is part of my being, it feels almost as if the symbolism of the Golden Dawn has replaced the Masonic meanings
• The Golden Dawn utilises and builds on the foundation of Freemasonry well and show a lifelong relationship with Lodge workings and rituals by its Founders
• Freemasonry does not have the 'life' that exists in the Golden Dawn. For example: if I suggested to the senior officers of the Lodge (Master and Wardens) that they should envisage themselves as the legendary figure associated with their office and assume their form (assuming Godforms in Golden Dawn practice), I would be considered batshit crazy
• Lack of connection to HaShem other than empty prayers and references in the ritual. Mechanical and often without feeling; this leads in to;
• Brothers knowing the ritual word perfect, but not knowing the ritual internally, making it part of their being and giving it passion, empty words and sounding like empty promises
• Northern Hemisphere practice with no interest in local conditions. Lodges are hermetically sealed against the local Land and place in space and time
• The Golden Dawn feels more than Freemasonry, there is a much wider range of ritual undertaken, the schema or design of the rituals and how they work together and separately over time and within each other is really special and interesting to research (note. While the other Degrees can also be considered in this light, there is little occult knowledge to be found in them today in Western Australian Freemasonry, this is my personal experience and opinion, which may not reflect others reality
• The members of my Golden Dawn Order understand my desire to unify with HaShem, the drive to the Divine that may be the background goal of Freemasonry, but is not a foremost in the minds of the practitioners of the Rite. 

While I will keep my membership of Freemasonry current and pay my dues, happily, promptly and without an ounce of negative emotion. I feel I may be finally, after all of these years, moving out of Freemasonry and fully into the Golden Dawn.

I will continue to explore my Continental, Sub Rosa Masonic Rite, but 'Blue Lodge' Freemasonry of the Western Australian Constitution has lost my heart.

B"H
Pax,

MvdV